When snail mail lets you down

This lovely green envelope with what looked like a handwritten name and address arrived in my mailbox the other day.I was pretty jazzed. Who could be writing to me? The full name of the fellow on the back flap was unfamiliar to me. Hmm… I savoured it a moment and then tore into it excited and was promptly disappointed:

Exclusive? Private? Seriously? I sealed it back up and wrote “return to sender” on the envelope. Buh-bye.